Who is Jesa for?

The aroma of my mom’s food fills the house, reminding me of going to my grandparents' house the next day. The day before, when I was young, I was always excited to meet all the family members and eat all kinds of food. Six times a year, I went to my grandparents' house and witnessed my mom and other grandmothers getting ready for the “jesa” in the kitchen. I was only able to observe her because she was preparing and helping others with the food and the cleanup. Instead, I had to stay with my dad, mostly having conversations and eating food with my grandpa and uncles. At that time, I didn’t know how the jesa ceremony worked, so I just followed what my dad told me to. But now, thinking and reflecting on it, I realized how different the experience my mom was facing compared to mine. I was so thrilled, but my mom wasn’t. Every time the day of jesa came, she had to endure and remove the food smell that didn’t go away so easily by opening all the windows; especially because of that, she hated the food smell. Not only that, my mom and grandmothers faced a lot of difficulties and fatigue in preparing for the jesa, yet they tried their best to hide it.

Jesa ceremony, also known as a ritual, functions as a remembrance of the ancestors. It consists of 20 kinds of dishes: rice, meat, 2 types of fish, pan-fried food (jeon), seasoned vegetables, 6 types of fruits, salted seafood, 4 types of soups, rice cakes, tofu, noodles, and Korean rice wine. Preparing for all of these high-quality dishes takes a lot of time, effort, and money, and this is all done by women. With a limited amount of time, all women should buy the ingredients themselves and cook them. The reason behind this is that jesa comes down from the Confucian thought in the Joseon Dynasty: “Women Preserve Men,” meaning that men are precious and women are low, the base. Therefore, women are the only ones preparing for the jesa and are not even allowed to take a bow. Having to consistently do this several times a year brings negative ramifications to women’s health, physically and mentally.

The women’s stress ratio, which is famously called “holiday syndrome,” has been immense lately, 88.3%. As society and women’s rights develop, women are having a different perspective, questioning the benefits of the jesa ceremony despite its positive meaning as a family event: Even if we endeavor, what is the benefit we get? Are these works actually worth it? Slowly, they start to express their opinions to the family members, but nothing changes; rather causes arguments and conflicts due to misunderstandings. In most cases, people misjudge how women think about jesa: Women are not asking for a stop to the jesa ceremony and are not forgetting the idea of gratitude to the ancestors, but stating that, keeping the same positive meaning, there should be some simplicity made. Nevertheless, from other people’s perspectives, raising this idea is basically wrong: women are inferior and just don’t want to do the jesa. Consequently, as quarrels arise, it goes into extreme situations such as cutting off relationships or divorces. Because of these occurrences, these days, women prefer not to marry to prevent having these experiences. According to Statista, the number of marriages registered in South Korea has significantly decreased over the past few years, from about 323,000 to 192,000.

Overall, all of these instances reminded me of an honorable person, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, an American jurist who was persistent in fighting for justice and against gender discrimination. At the Women’s Human Rights Litigation, she represented women’s voices by stating the history of how women were treated. She included these words: second-class citizens, branded inferior, subordinate, dependent, and a waste of human resources, always hidden or under men. Because of all of her amazing efforts and speeches that impacted society, women’s rights and interests have risen significantly. In my opinion, nowadays, this has also created a development in South Korea, having an increasing number of women activists who try their best to bring adjustments to the jesa system based on our changing generation. The amount of food has been condensed to 5 to 6 dishes, not having pan-fried food (jeon) anymore. Even if the jesa preparation has been simplified, the idea of gratitude was kept the same, and the stress level was reduced as well. In short, the important phenomenon is that if everyone has the same mindset, then they should prepare the jesa altogether, helping and cooperating. Likewise, as societies advance, I hope that humanity improves as well, having all genders equal and respected.

Works Cited

Houck, Aaron M., and Marilyn J. Bartlett. “Ruth Bader Ginsburg | Biography & Facts.” Britannica, 27 April 2023, https://www.britannica.com/biography/Ruth-Bader-Ginsburg.

Koo, Se. “Opinion | South Korea’s Misogyny.” The New York Times, 13 June 2016, https://www.nytimes.com/2016/06/13/opinion/south-koreas-misogyny.html.

Kwan, Sungkyun. “[ED] Simplified Chuseok rituals.” The Korea Times, 7 September 2022, https://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/opinion/2023/07/137_335744.html.

Kwon, Mee-yoo. “Joseon era ancestral rites offerings were simpler than today's, research shows.” The Korea Times, 10 February 2021, https://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/culture/2023/07/135_303865.html.

두뇌PT실. “몰락하는 제사 문화! 젊은이들이 제사를 거부하는 이유.” YouTube, 5 February 2022, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L71YYIvJ5zM.

Yoon, L. “South Korea: number of marriages registered 2022.” Statista, 25 July 2023, https://www.statista.com/statistics/641581/south-korea-marriage-number/.